LiLo Needs More People

July 8, 2009 / Posted by:

White Oprah’s personal Adderall dispensing machine just can’t catch a break when it comes to movie stuff. I don’t think HoHan’s had a mildly successful hit since that Herbie shit and I think that the fat talking car gets most of the credit for that. HoHan’s latest movie Labor Pains didn’t even go directly to DVD, that shit show went to basic cable! And it didn’t have to be like this, because she could’ve had a major hit on her greasy crack-stained hands!

UsWeekly says that Todd Phillips, director of The Hangover, threw one of the lead roles in HoHan’s lap and asked her to snatch it up, but she shut it down. Some source said that she “didn’t like the script!” The role went to Heather Graham. The movie went on to make $205 million so far. And HoHan, well, she’s gone to stalk her partner in pussy in London, allegedly steal a recipe for liquid tan doody and become one of Twitter’s most prolific prophets (next to Kathy Ireland, of course).

HoHan isn’t in a position to turn down half of a Quiznos sub, let alone a movie role! To think, HoHan could’ve been the one looking like the epitome of sophistication in “the slut” dress at the Dublin premiere of The Hangover. She should be slapping herself in the cooze bone for that reason alone!

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