The Tale Of Titty Squirrel!

July 6, 2009 / Posted by:

Amber Finney’s chichis were the co-stars of the video that made the internet rounds last week and she’s explaining why she had a babeh squirrel down her shirt. The video was taken by Warren, Ohio detectives during an interview with Amber about a drive-by shooting she might have witnessed.

Amber says the explanation is simple. A friend brought her an injured baby squirrel right before she was scheduled to meet with the cops. Amber didn’t want to leave it alone, so she stuffed it right between her titty cleavage. I guess she felt that dying of suffocation or embarrassment was better than chilling out in a big, airy shoe box.

Amber went on to explain, “It had a broken leg, and I didn’t want to leave him alone. You can’t take animals into the jail, and it was the only place I could put him.” Amber’s chocha den was already occupied by a family of beavers and they had just extended their lease.

So basically Amber is just a regular St. Francis of Assisi. More like St. Francis of Chichis.

When the squirrel jumped out during her interview with Detective Mackey, Amber put him back in and kept on like some weird shit just didn’t go down. Amber was afraid she would get in trouble, but Detective Mackey didn’t say anything. Detective Mackey explained, “She didn’t acknowledge it, so I didn’t. I didn’t know if I would embarrass her or what.

At first, Amber was madder than fish grease and threatened to sue the cops, but now she’s loving all the attention. Expect a Vh1 reality show starring Amber’s titty balls and a bunch of slutty, drunk squirrels in 3…2…

Amber says the baby squirrel is no longer taking up space in her cleavage. She released it back into the wild. Poor squirrel is never going to be the same. When he sees a pair of plumpy bitties, he’s going to go into shock and have the same reaction as this hot bitch on Maury. Never be the same again.

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