RPattz Does Not Love New York

July 6, 2009 / Posted by:

The keeper of the unicorn forest has been spending time in NYC while he shoots a movie and he’s anxiously counting the seconds until he can take his sparkly ass out of here. Gatecrasher says that RPattz has had it with NYC and its certifiable vaginas.

A source said, “He’s so over everything. He’s overwhelmed by all the girls — they terrify him! He says girls grab his neck and clothing all of the time, and he’s not used to that. Fans don’t do that to him in London. Everyone there is a little cooler about the fame thing, which is what he’s used to. He’s embarrassed by the way girls throw themselves at him. The girls here are stalking him. He stayed in two different hotels over the course of four days just to try to escape the fans who were following him. He’s afraid that if he gives a hand, they’ll take the whole arm. He’s being advised by security not to encourage the crowd, so he doesn’t even look up anymore.”

He also probably hates it that random strangers keep dropping quarters in his coffee cup when he’s standing on the street. I’d have the sads too if my coffee always tasted like dirty metal.

Poor RPattz. it sounds like you need a place to rest your magical forest hair that’s free of crazy bitches. Might I suggest my No-No Hotel? It’s kind of crowded and you’ll have to wear a gas mask, but nary a vag will bother you!

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