No, this isn’t lost footage from Katie Couric’s colon cam. It’s also not a clip from Tommy Girl’s sex tape or shots of Parasite Hilton’s used tampon. It’s video from a sewer cam in North Carolina of something that will haunt my stomach for days to come. Fuck lunch. Fuck dinner. Fuck eating. And fuck toilets too, because I know this dark-sided shit beast has the power to crawl up and pay your ass a visit. There’s no room in my ass for more grossness. I’m sorry.
Gawker says that the creature of my nightmares is nothing but a mound of worms who have attached themselves to roots. Knowing this still didn’t curb my dry heaves. The damage is done.