Our Lady of Cheetos (wearing her signature color) went to Bed, Bath & Beyond yesterday with a doody mop on top of her head. At least, I think that’s a wig. Either way it still looks like the mangy mane of an elderly horsey who’s allergic to shampoo….and hairbrushes.
I hope I’m still alive to see Brit Brit in 30 years. You know she’s going to be wearing outfits just like this! Bitch’s jerky sacks will be hanging out and her sun-spotted pork rind titties will be sweeping the floor, but she won’t care! You will find her kicking a gumball machine outside of a Piggy Wiggly, because it stole her last quarter (inflation). I can’t wait.
And I must point out the elegant scrunchie on her wrist. It’s elegant and sophisticated, because it’s velvet. A FUCKING VELVET SCRUNCHIE!? That shit makes me feel like I’m in the middle of a Judy’s listening to a Lisa Lisa song. If Brit Brit pulls out a banana clip next, I will worship her as the new Queen of High-Fashion.