The gossip around these parts is that Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper went out on a couple (or more) dates together. The tabloids hailed them as the second coming of Jen & Brad. Well, if they were touching nipples in the morning, it doesn’t sound like they are anymore.
At the Louis Vuitton show in Paris yesterday, Brad talked a little bit about the noise going around that he’s boning Jenny. And he did it in FRENCH. Swoo-ooon. My no-no just queefed in a French accent.
Brad said, “She’s a friend of mine. Simply, simply, just a friend. In America, its not like it is here. She’s someone who is super, super known. Famous. If someone says ‘hello’ to her, it’s given that he’s fallen in love with her. So, no. No. She’s a very, very interesting woman, but she’s simply a friend.”
A “very interesting woman“? That’s like when a one-night-fuck says to you afterwards, “That was fun.” That’s my cue to stroll to his bathroom, wipe my freshly sexed-up ass on his good towel, grab my clothes and proceed to do the walk of shame knowing that I messed up as a true slut. He’s basically saying, “Your fuck game is weak!”
“A very interesting woman” either means: a) He got weirded out when Jenny told him they couldn’t have sex until the following week because that’s when her cycle started. b) She showed up to their second date in her dream wedding dress. c) The head was whack.