The Question Everyone Has Been Asking (Not Really)

That picture of the twin messiahs! HA! If the “second coming of Jesus” job doesn’t work out for them, they should really star in old timey silent-movies. They have the “SHOCK! WHA?! WHO? BAM!” face down. Mary Pickford wishes! Now on to business.

Ever since a chorus of angels carried the twin chosen ones down from heaven on a bed made from God’s beard, we haven’t seen much of them. I figured they were too busy finding the cure for cancer in their own saliva or writing the sequel to War & Peace. Life & Style says this isn’t the case. According to some sources, Knox is bulimic and Vivi is allergic to peons. Basically.

The source said, “They’re both hypersensitive. Knox has trouble holding down his food. He spits up nearly every meal.” As for Vivi, she has food and environmental allergies, “Right now, she’s on a lactose and gluten-free diet, and she’s still underweight. Because of their delicate state, Knox and Vivienne need to be kept away from anything they could possibly be allergic to. That’s a lot easier to do when they’re home and in a controlled environment.”

Yeah, some of this is hard to believe. Messiahs don’t eat food. They just lick themselves for sustenance. You know, the whole “body of Christ” thing. However, I do believe that they are allergic to us “normal” people. It probably stings their holy eyes when they have to look at commoners who don’t have glowing halos over their heads.