Rachel Hunter Dumped

39-year-old Rachel Hunter, star of The Real Gilligan’s Island, Dancing with the Has-Beens, Style Me, Celebrity Paranormal Project, Make Me A Supermodel, Celebrity Circus and any other reality show you can think of, has been straight-up dumped by her fiance just a couple of months before they were supposed to get married.

Bitch, I hope the caterers refund your deposit. Everything I know about weddings I learned from Bridezilla.

The Daily Mail says that Rachel’s 27-year-old fiance, L.A. Kings hockey player Jarret Stoll, e-mailed every guest telling them that the August 14th wedding wasn’t going to happen. Jarret didn’t give Rachel a reason for why he wanted to quit her ass. Rachel apparently has the sads in a bad way. A friend said, “She has absolutely no idea why Jarret has done this. It sounds like it could be a classic case of cold feet. He is a fair bit younger than her.”

I hope Rachel’s not hibernating in her bedroom devouring a giant tub of Breyers while listening to “This Old Heart of Mine” on repeat (that would be ironic).

Rachel should dry her tears, pick up her vagina, spray some perfume on it and fuck every one of Jarret’s friends. Don’t stop there. Fuck his father, his uncles, his cousins, his second cousins, his brothers, his gardener, his dry cleaner, etc… etc… Fuck him over by fucking everyone in his life! When he’s sitting at Christmas dinner with his entire family, he’ll look into each of their faces and die a little inside when he realizes that your pussay has been on every single one of them. Git it, Rachel!