This Crazy Bitch Is Obsessed With Bunnies
When Miriam Sakewitz watches Peter Cottontail or Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, bitch probably creams her chonies non-stop (it’s like creamed carrots), because she is crazy for bunnies. Bonkers 4 bunnies. You could call her a bunnyhead or a bunny-holic. If there’s a bunny around, she wants to get her portly paws on it!
The 47-year-old, who was nicknamed “Bunny Lady” by the locals in Portland, Oregon, was arrested on Tuesday at a hotel after a maid found dozens of bunny rabbits hopping around in her room. This was a direct violation of Miriam’s probation, because in 2006 a judge ordered her loontardian ass to stay at least 100 yards from any bunny rabbit. Why do I picture Bugs Bunny winking at her from 100 yards and trying to lure her over with his fluffy tail?
In 2006, police discovered 250 bunnies inside Miriam’s home and 100 dead bunnies in her freezer. Bitch’s house was like the inside of Richard Gere’s ass (he has since upgraded from gerbils)!
The bunnies were taken from her, but you can’t keep a crazy bunny hoarder down for long, because she broke into the facility where they were being stored and stole them back. She was arrested and a judge put on her probation for 5 years.
In 2007, Miriam struck again! Her probation officer got a vewwwwy vewwwwwy strange feeling that Miriam was shacking up with bunnies again. A bunny wasn’t found in her house, but the officer did find a 10-pound bag of carrots. Miriam was sentenced to 3 days in jail.
They need to just stick this ho in a cage filled with bunny butt nuggets and throw away the key, because precious bunnies don’t deserve this shit! All bunnies are sweet and lovely. Actually, not all. I had a pet bunny once who bit my fingers every time I tried to pet him. I didn’t mind it though, because he winked at me a lot and kept himself pretty by always making sure his eyes were perfectly lined with liquid liner.
And how long before we see this bunnyhead on Obsessed?