Ryan Reynolds is on the cover of Entertainment Weekly and at first I thought the Photoshop wizards got carried away, but then I remember my no-no slobbering over his abs recently. So I googled it and got confirmation. Ryan’s abs really do look like they were hand-painted by Brooke Hogan’s airbrusher. How does hair grow on something that hard? I bet ScarJo has to put a pillow on his stomach whenever she rides him in reverse. If she doesn’t, his concrete abs could split her ass bone in two. Ow.
Ryan must do sit-ups non-stop. Even in his sleep. Some bitches sleepwalk, Ryan sleepcrunches.