Open Post: Hosted By The Comfort Wipe

June 13, 2009 / Posted by:

Right after going caca times, have you ever thought to yourself before wiping, “Ugh. It’s too far to reach. Fuckit.” Well, the Comfort Wipe is the product your asshole has been praying for! Your chonies will love it too! “Not since the 1880s” (Can I have WTF?) has there been an invention that improves the task of wiping your own ass with “archaic” toilet paper. It’s like a squeegee for your butt!

Seeeeriously, how is this any easier? You have to pull out The Shit Stick, attach a piece of toilet paper to it, lift your ass up, aim for the brown eye, wipe and then release. Not to mention that you have to clean it every week when the flies start having a party on it. Well, I guess it gets clean when you use it to scrub your back in the shower.

What’s the opposite of making sense? THE COMFORT WIPE!.

That being said, every ho in my family is getting one of these for Christmas! The “big guys” in my family are getting two!

P.S. – The memaw at the 0:45 mark probably can’t wipe her ass on her own, because she’s too hopped up on pills. Just a guess.

VIA Best Week Ever

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >