Jennifer Aniston Is In On The Joke (I Think)

Maddox’s nemesis was honored at the Crystal + Lucy Awards yesterday for her contribution to film and the tabloid industry. By the way, I knew two sisters in junior high school named Crystal and Lucy. They wanted to be cholas so bad, but their facial features just weren’t made for dark lip liner and Sharpie eyebrows. They gave up on that dream and decided to get knocked up at the same time instead. It warms my no-heart that they have an entire awards show named after them now. If anyone deserves it, they do.

While accepting her award, Jenny Aniston once again joked about her love life, “I have a strange parallel with movies I was doing and my life off screen. First, it was The Good Girl…which evolved into Rumor Has It, followed by Derailed. Then there was The Breakup. Followed by the lighter side, Friends With Money. If anyone has a movie called Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Man, that would be great! I’m at table six, and my agents are at table 12.”

Then Jennifer laughed like she’s never laughed before! Then slowly her laugh turned into a quiet cry which turned into a category 7 Tsunami of tears. Then she pulled pieces of her own hair out while mumbling, “You stupid, stupid, stupid, you stupid stupid…”

But seriously, Jenny’s next movie is called The Baster, so she maybe she should put on her sexiest dress and start cruising the kitchen utensil section of Crate & Barrel.

Here’s more of Jenny last night looking hot while wearing a beautiful dress made by Reynolds Wrap. She used her dress later to make a delicious meal of roasted chicken and vegetables….for one.