Too Close For Comfort

June 12, 2009 / Posted by:

Today is Jon & Kate’s 10th wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary, I guess?

While Jon was off trying to make his nuts grow back by sprinkling seeds and saliva from his mistress on his crotch area, Kate spent the day building a bouncy castle for her kids. Well, she also spent the day giving angry oral to a popsicle and almost flashing her “other” tortured beaver to the world. Meanwhile, a plastic bag from DICK’s laid down beside her. Kate Gosselin + her “other” beaver + angry oral + DICKS = self-castration. LIGHT BULB! So that’s what happened to Jon!

As much as I admire Kate for being the master cuntress of cuntness, I don’t want to think about her like that! In my mind, Kate doesn’t bother with dick. If a peen gets near her, she yells at it until it turns inside out and runs up into the stomach. This would explain why she’s such an enormous bitch.

Wait. Hold up. Am I saying that in order to be a cunt of epic proportions, you have to give up peen? Shits. I may have to think re-think my life’s purpose.

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146 responses to “Too Close For Comfort”

  1. madam s. says:

    She strikes me as the kind of person who would get grumpy and critical and bossy even during sex.

  2. Boob3rries says:

    Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:23pm.
    Boob3rries I love Terrence, I was like the only one defending him on dlisted for the longest!

    YAY IM NOT ALONE!

    I showed hubby the article about women being horz and stuff, by Terrence, and he said: I respect that man so much.

    LOL <3

    **************************************************

    "Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

  3. NaNoop says:

    I’m stealing MK’s “shits.”

  4. NaNoop says:

    Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:21pm.

    Terrence Howard would love the baby wipes
    ****************************

    Thems is disinfectant wipes, he’d just about cream his drawers over that!

  5. snowpiece says:

    madam s: from yesterday:

    Submitted by Britneys cheap … on Thu, 06/11/2009 – 5:57pm.
    OMG I bet she”s a bitch even during sex “Yeah that feels good *rolls eyes* can we PLEASE do aomething else…Can u do anything right”

    Kate “Oh great now you made me orgasm! These sheets were just washed! Do you know how much they cost? Of course you don’t why do I even ask..”

    ****************************
    “This is MK. He started it” angel_i
    “When you see crazy coming….cross the street.” John Salley

  6. mike says:

    Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:20pm.

    Last thumbnail = someone’s avatar.

    Maybe Sweetas is a ready for an upgrade.

  7. kari54 says:

    um terrence howard beat on his ex-wife and threatened to kill her…

    so i think i’m going to hate on the baby wipe maniac for a little while longer

  8. NaNoop says:

    I think in the second to last thumb, she’s giving someone shit for breathing wrong.

  9. impacted waste says:

    her hairstyle is the one the white girl that hung out with black girls wore 15 years ago and is now popular with fat pasty redneck girls .

  10. BlueOrchid says:

    Damn, she looks soooooo miserable.

    ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ

    Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you’re getting double-penetrated. -Michael K

  11. NaNoop says:

    Submitted by BlueOrchid on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:32pm.

    Damn, she looks soooooo miserable.

    Ain’t it devine?

  12. DreamyAguileraEyes says:

    So they didn’t spend the 10th anniversary together?

    Nothing screams “We’re getting a divorce!” like not spending a huge milestone together.

    I could perhaps understand it if they had jobs, but er…I dont think they do? (I could be wrong, here – I only know these twits because of Dlisted.)

    Xtina – Light & Darkness. September ’09
    http://www.last.fm/user/SpiritDreaming

  13. BlueOrchid says:

    Submitted by NaNoop on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:32pm.

    Ain’t it devine?

    It sure is, makes my ass smile in comtempt.

    ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ

    Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you’re getting double-penetrated. -Michael K

  14. chowgirl69 says:

    She is always, always, ALWAYS frowning in every picture I see of her. She is gonna need a shit-load of botox to smooth out the “11’s” between her brows. You can see in the few pics where she is smiling she already has the permanent furrow between her brows.

  15. Boob3rries says:

    Submitted by kari54 on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:30pm.
    um terrence howard beat on his ex-wife and threatened to kill her…

    REALLY?? I didn’t know that o.O =O (I’m serious, I didn’t know).

    Anyway, can I get a reply on this? I never watched the show so I’m not sure if this is common but WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE STOPWATCH??

    **************************************************

    “Writing that made my eyeballs fart.” MK

  16. luscious_t says:

    Kate probably hates popsicles – but Mady wanted one, so she had to eat it. That’s why she’s so angry about it.

    Fuckin’ Mady. *side eye*

    *****
    SLUTS – NOT CUNTS!
    http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
    ~cheetos & frapp~

  17. NaNoop says:

    Submitted by BlueOrchid on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:34pm.

    Submitted by NaNoop on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:32pm.

    Ain’t it devine?

    It sure is, makes my ass smile in comtempt.

    Cool, I’ll fart and it’ll be like a interwebs high-five!

  18. snowpiece says:

    Boob3rries IDK about the stop watch, I have seen every epi of the show so it’s something new, maybe for the party. She doesn’t time their pees or anything as far as I know

    Kate needs to smoke a fatty like Jon has been doing, it would do her a world of good.
    ****************************
    “This is MK. He started it” angel_i
    “When you see crazy coming….cross the street.” John Salley

  19. Provolone says:

    i wish i was that popsicle stick….

    +*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    “I’ve met Janeane Garofalo and she’s a cunt”-Artie Lange

  20. snowpiece says:

    Boobs:
    TH has given me many a reason to not like him, he’s basically an asshole but you know, It’s Hard out here for a pimp, LOL

    February 2009 it was reported on the The Smoking Gun that Howard was arrested in 2001 for a variety of charges related to a violent attack on his estranged wife, including simple assault, terroristic threats, harassment and stalking. According to police reports, he arrived at her house after an argument on the phone, forced entry into her home by breaking in doors, and chased her into the back yard where he punched her twice in the face with a closed fist. The violent attack ended when Howard’s brother stopped it. In 2002 he plead guilty only to disturbing the peace.[14]

    These issues came to light after he reportedly downplayed singer Chris Brown’s 2009 arrest for attacking his girlfriend Rihanna. When Howard was asked about the allegations of domestic violence against Brown, he told a reporter from Hollywood.tv “It’s just life, man. Chris is a great guy. He’ll be all right, and Rihanna knows he loves her, you know? They’ll be all right.”[15]

    ****************************
    “This is MK. He started it” angel_i
    “When you see crazy coming….cross the street.” John Salley

  21. louise_brooks says:

    Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:43pm.

    She doesn’t time their pees or anything as far as I know.

    ““

    ROTFL

  22. TITS says:

    has there ever been a picture taken of this woman genuinely smiling?

    .o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
    The Gosselin Hair Video is here! (A My2Cents/Sandbitch/TITS production)
    http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x9dzac_jon-kate-plus-my-hate_people

    Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36561337@N05

  23. OXA says:

    Anyway, can I get a reply on this? I never watched the show so I’m not sure if this is common but WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE STOPWATCH??

    Maybe she sent Jon to get the cake and is timing him, if he is 10 seconds late she will castrate him.

  24. TITS says:

    Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:45pm.

    i wish i was that popsicle stick….
    *

    her mouth would give you splinters… but something tells me you’d like that.

    .o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
    The Gosselin Hair Video is here! (A My2Cents/Sandbitch/TITS production)
    http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x9dzac_jon-kate-plus-my-hate_people

    Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36561337@N05

  25. birdwing says:

    What is up with her garter?

  26. OXA says:

    Submitted by TITS on Fri, 06/12/2009 – 5:48pm.
    has there ever been a picture taken of this woman genuinely smiling?

    Yes, she was farting at the time.

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