Jesus Made Her Do It

June 12, 2009 / Posted by:

Devout Christian and missionary for famewhores, Horsey Montag, will bare her douche-filled titty balls and silicone oven mitt chocha in Playboy. Horsey’s spread will be in the September issue (aka The Whores 4 God issue). A source (*cough*Heidi’s vagina*cough*) told People, “There is nudity. It’s tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it.”

Let me guess, God looked down upon her, opened his arms and said, “Bare those titties for your faith! As your savior, I command you!” Because in case you forgot, Heidi is the lord’s servant. That’s why she was put on this earth.

But seriously, Spencer Twatt should be the one in Playboy. His snatch is bigger than hers.

Image: Pacific Coast News

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >