Mission Impossible IV: The Hunt For Tommy Girl’s Sanity

June 11, 2009 / Posted by:

Since Tom Cooze’s last two movies (that Nazi cacaness and that lamb shit) didn’t even make enough money to cover his monthly anal bleaching bill, he is going back to a sure thing: the Mission Impossible series. J.J. Abrams tells TVGuide (via Coming Soon) that he will once again deal with Tommy’s craziness in order to produce Mission Impossible 4.

J.J. said, “I am incredibly honored that Tom has invited me back as a producer on Mission: Impossible 4. Tom and I have come up with a really cool idea we are pursuing.”

Joo know what’s a mission impossible? Getting me to see a Tom Cooze movie without lying to me by saying that the theater makes their popcorn with Valium oil and that they sell Junior Weed Mints at the counter. Okay, can somebody please start selling Junior Weed Mints. Thank you.

I hope the “cool idea” they are pursuing is casting Suri Cruise as the villainess with anti-depressants as her henchmen.

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