Jeremy Piven Is Still Going On About That Mercury Poisoning Shit

June 11, 2009 / Posted by:

Jeremy Piven is in NYC to continue arbitration with the producers of Speed of the Plow. The producers want Piven to pay up for abruptly bouncing out of the show causing ticket sales to dive. Piven cried “mercury poisoning”, because he claims he ate too much sushi. (Insert Pig Pen pussy joke here).

The producers think something in the milk ain’t clean about that whole mercury poisoning crap, but it’s a serious matter for Piven. Piven told Michigan Avenue Magazine (via Page Six) that the real truth about the dangers of mercury will soon be revealed, “The Obama administration came out and said the No. 1 chemical problem in the world is mercury . . . there will be a lot of documentaries coming out showing what happens when you have too much mercury in your system.” Then Piven joked, “It sounds like some crazy rich man’s disease.”

Maybe Piven had a little mercury poisoning, but the real reason why he quit that bitch had to do with the permanent case of douche flu he suffers from. And the cokey-litis he comes down with every now and again didn’t help matters.

It’s like when a dumb ho calls in sick to work and you know they are really just going to the beach to sun their nalgas. Then they come in the next day whining about how they were on death’s door. You try not to slap their ass while staring at their new natural blonde highlights and sunburn. Piven, I can see your new highlights and sunburn. Just stop!

SPOILER ALERT: The “dumb ho” was me.

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