In the newest edition of Bowel Movement Weekly, Fishsticks Paltrow writes about a delightful cookie her good friends Katie Lee and William Joel – let’s stop there. Yes, she called BILLY Joel “William.” Ugh. Fishy totally calls Katie “Lady Katherine Lee,” but decided that would be too much for us regular people to understand. Fishy probably calls everyone by their birth name. You know she calls her husband “Christopher Anthony.” Christopher Anthony also has to greet her every time by gently kissing her hand while she curtsies. This bitch has been in way too many period pieces. It messed up her head.
And why is Fishsticks writing about cookies anyway? Out of all the things she could fuck with she chooses cookies! Only Fishsticks could make a cookie sound like a major asshole. “I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries – heaven.” That cookie is a pretentious snob! If I tried to eat it, it would raise its chip at me. Good going, Fishy. You ruined cookies.