Where Is His Gorgeous Cholita Mother?

June 10, 2009 / Posted by:

Danny Noriega, the MiserAlba look-alike from American Idol, has unleashed a new video to the world and it’s a homemade wreck! Do DOS machines still exist, because this shit might have been made on one. Aw. I shouldn’t say that. This wasn’t homemade. I’m sure it was shot at the finest music video booth Six Flags has to offer. The effects are spellbinding. Danny’s video features every standard MS Windows screensaver. That has to be a first.

Who is this Diamonique person? I bet you her real name is Crystal and she’s a part-time “sales associate” at Wet Seal. Danny had to let her be in the video, because she provided the wardrobe. You know how that goes. But Danny made one huge mistake. Where is his gorgeous cholita mother? Everything Diamonique did (or didn’t) do, Danny’s gorgeous cholita mother could have done better! When are her perfect eyebrows going to get their time in the spotlight?

As for the song, I’m so glad this didn’t come out when I was 16. I would’ve been bobbing my ass to this at the all-ages club thinking I was it.

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