Our Lady Of Cheetos Has Got Herself A Man!

Ooooooh Chester Cheetah is going to melt down into a puddle of processed cheese smegma after he hears the news that Brit Brit is in love with another man! Then when Brit hears Chester is now a puddle of cheese, she’s going to run over there and eat him up with Ritz crackers (GONG!). Need. More. Coffee.

So……People has confirmed that Brit Brit is dating her agent Jason Trawick. For months now, there’s been rumors that Jason was rubbing his pork rind all over Brit’s deep fried coochieroni. A source said, “They are totally and definitely dating. Her dad loves him. He’s the best thing that happened to her. He makes Britney really happy, and he’s great with the boys.”

Jason is also one of Brit’s brother’s best friends, so this is pretty much a perfect match for her family. Daddy Spears can now add cupid to his resume, because he probably told Brit that she could either date Jason or the Build-A-Bear he bought her for her birthday. Those were her only choices.

But seriously, this is good news. It’s nice to hear that she finally found a man that isn’t only using her for her money. Oh, wait. What’s his cut as her agent?

And this is also a perfectly perfect match, because if you glance at Jason’s last name really quick, it looks like TRAINWRECK. All aboard!