Kendra Wilkinson Is Going To Be A Mother

Why does that headline kind of terrify me? Maybe it’s because I don’t know if the world can handle another human with a laugh like Kendra’s. A laugh that can turn several brain cells to dust in just a few seconds. A laugh that will make you finger fuck your own ears. And now there might be two of those laughs on this planet. Ahhhhh! Jump for your lives!

Kendra tells E! that she’s expecting a BABY!!!! with her fiance Hank Baskett. Hmm. That’s a creative way to guarantee a second season of her reality show. And I”m guessing she still doesn’t know exactly how babies are made. She probably burped during sexy times and thinks that had something to do with it. No worries. When her baby turns 2 or 3, it will explain to Kendra how it was made.

Kendra went on to blab, “Hank and I are thrilled to announce that we are expecting our first child together. We are touched by the outpouring of support by our family, friends and fans.” Kendra and Hank are due to get married on June 27th at the Playboy Mansion.

Holly Madison was supposed to be there, but she’ll probably be busy mumbling to herself and slowly tearing out her own weave in a padded cell somewhere after she hears that Kendra got knocked up before she did. So if you see Holly carrying around a little ball of weave hair and cooing to it like it’s her baby, just politely smile and quickly look away.