Granny Got Tasered!

June 10, 2009 / Posted by:

A great memaw was driving to Austin, Texas to buy some Werther’s, Metamucil and Icy Hot when she was pulled over for speeding. Officer Christopher Beize told 72-year-old Kathryn Winkfein that he was going to write her a ticket for going 60 in a 45mph construction zone. Kathryn wasn’t about to roll over and play the sweet grandmother role. No, Kathryn refused to sign the ticket. That’s when Officer Beize threatened to arrest her old ass if she didn’t cooperate. Officer Beize should know that you don’t fuck with a memaw, because bitches don’t play!

Memaw Kat got out of her truck to give Officer B a big slice of FUCK OFF PIE. Memaw Kat eventually agreed to sign it and tried to wrestle Officer B’s ticket book out of his hands.

And Memaw Kat should know that you don’t fuck with a police officer, because they carry taser guns. That’s exactly what happened next. Officer B tasered Memaw Kat! How are you going to do that to a memaw?! Officer B is lucky Kat’s heart didn’t jump out of her prune hole and run away!

In his report, Officer B said he had no choice but to taser Memaw Kat. He said she was trying to push him into traffic and if he didn’t subdue her, she would’ve hurt him or herself.

After paramedics arrived and changed Memaw Kat’s Depends, she was arrested for resisting arrest. If convicted, she could face up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine.

Officer B should get his taser gun taken away! This is wrong on so many levels. First of all, he didn’t need to fry the granny! He could have just given her a caramel square to calm her down a bit. Second of all, I think by tasering Memaw Kat he made her eyebrows jump up a couple of inches! Messing up a ho’s eyebrows is the biggest crime of all.

And I’d also like to congratulate Kathryn Winkfein for becoming an official member of Latarian Milton’s Hood Rat Stuff Gang.

(Thanks Kismet)

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