You Can’t Take HoHan Anywhere!

HoHan is over in London, stalking SamRo, snorting up the country’s supply of the bad shit and melting down in clubs. Yeah, HoHan is one of those friends who has an emotional breakdown in the middle of a club while you’re trying to get your drunk on. Buzz. Kill.

Dean Piper of the Mirror says he witnessed HoHan curl up like a ball on the floor of London’s Club Cuckoo. How fitting.

According to Dean, HoHan sat at the table next to him with a vodka drink in hand while mumbling shit like, “I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged.” It’s called a K-hole, honey. Shake it off.

Somebody else who was there added, “She just wouldn’t stop saying she felt caged. She was just not all there and it really was like watching a broken girl in the middle of a complete breakdown. She spent much of the night furiously texting Sam Ronson – and wasn’t best pleased about the texts she was getting. Everyone with her was actually very concerned about her. She seemed like a girl on the brink of self- destruction.”

Seemed like a girl on the brink?! How about a girl who is riding first-class on the speed train to self-destruction. White Oprah’s got a little conductor hat on and shouting “CHOO CHOO!”

I know we’ve all screamed about this a million times, but is it really so hard for White Oprah and Michael Lohan to pull their heads out of their own cunts and sort their daughter out. During Christmas one (every) year, I got drunk like a Wino and was acting the fool in the worst kind of way. My mother immediately grabbed my drink, poured it down the sink and told me to go sit in the bath tub until further notice. Why can’t White Oprah do that? Send HoHan to the tub!

And here’s our little caged bird leaving a business meeting with Emanuel Ungaro in London last night. The leggings and spray tan entrepreneur is expected to be named “creative consultant” of Ungaro…..