A Hero To Baby Birds Everywhere

June 8, 2009 / Posted by:

You know it’s one of those days when a story about Terrence Howard saving the life of a baby bird is the most hilarious thing you’ve heard in hours. No, my lips have not been on a bong or a bottle of computer duster yet. Unfortunately.

So picture this! Terrence Howard is strolling down the streets of Beverly Hills keeping it sexy and spreading the word of baby wipes. Then all of a sudden, Terry hears a chirp for help coming from the middle of the street. Terry glances over and see a helpless, innocent baby bird lying there about to be run over by a giant bus! Terry swoops in, stops traffic, cleans up the bird with a baby wipe before touching it and then carries it out of harm’s way. Seriously. That’s what someone told Page Six. Well, they left about the baby wipes part, but you know that happened.

The source actually said, “A baby bird was walking in front of a bus when someone from the store came out and tried to help it. Terrence followed, holding his hands up and stopping until the bird was out of harm’s way.”

It’s out there for a chick!

This touching story reminds me of the time when I thought I saved the life of a baby bird when I was 6ish. I was coming home from school with my friend when I saw a baby bird lying on the ground. It felt out of the tree. I picked it up and was planning to put it back in the tree. That’s when my bitch ass friend said, “Good going. You just killed it. Its mother is going to eat it now that you’ve put your dirty hands all over it.” Then he called me a killer and ran off. Terrence was smarter than me, because he made sure to clean the baby bird with a baby wipe before touching it. The mommy bird was probably impressed as shit.

Fuck, this is stupid. Oh, bong, where are you?!

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