St. Angie Is More Powerful Than Oprah

June 4, 2009 / Posted by:

While I was going through old pictures of Angie Jo before she became a saint, I found this jewel from 1998. It made me miss the old Angie. Look at her just sitting there in her polyester-blend suit. The Angie of yesterday could easily have a Chico’s kind of day and love every minute of it. The Angie of today doesn’t ever have days like that anymore. Come on, Angie. Slip into a Chico’s suit and give us a smile while posing in front of a palm tree. It cures all. Sigh. Now on to Angie and Oprah’s cock fight for power….

After two years, Oprah’s reign as the most powerful of all on Forbes’ The Celebrity 100 list has come to an end. Oprah was pushed off her throne by Angelina Jolie. Even though Oprah made $275 million last year and Angie made $27 million, the latter managed to whore herself out more in the media. Forbes’ list is based on media exposure and earnings.

Rounding out the top 10 is:

3. Vadge ($110 million)
4. Beyonce ($87 million)
5. Tiger Woods ($110 million)
6. Bruce Springsteen ($70 million)
7. Steven Spielberg ($150 million)
8. Jennifer Aniston ($25 million)
9. Brad Pitt ($28 million)
10. Spaghetti Cat (a couple of dried noodles)

St. Angie may rule the sun and the moon, but I still don’t think that’s enough for her to be considered more powerful than THE MIGHTY O. In a battle to the death between St. Angie’s child army and Oprah’s army of crazy menopausal audience members led by Gayle King, we know who would win. All Oprah has to do is throw one of her free “favorite things” on Angie and cackle as her followers devour the saintly one whole.

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