Here Comes The Bride….And Her Big Ass

The Tush and The Bush are engaged to be married! That’s what a rep for Kim Kardassian told Star Magazine. No word on when the wedding is. No word on when the baby is due either. SHUT UP! I know. That’s the first thing I thought when I read that shit. Then I thought about how that fetus is going to be one lucky mofo. Obviously, Kim’s womb will be his main home, but if he wants he can buy a timeshare in her ass. That way he has like a weekend place to chill out at. That fetus will be a jet setter before it’s even born! From womb to ass to womb to life!

And Kim doesn’t even have to worry about one of those ring bearing brats effing her wedding! She can carry the ring pillow on her ass! It’s better that way. I’ve been to so many wedding where the ring bearer drops the ring. Everybody laughs, but you know the bride is thinking, “This little bitch is ruining my day.” This won’t happen to Kim, because she could balance a ping pong ball on her ass. And I’m sure she has in Tijuana.

Also, when Kim walks down the aisle, this will be the first time in history where the caboose actually leads the train.

UPDATE: Bitch ain’t engaged. She wrote this on her blog, “I am not engaged!!! My new publicist was talking with Star Magazine earlier today and accidentally referred to Reggie as my fiance so they posted the news on their website! There have been so many rumors flying around recently about Reggie and I being engaged that she assumed we were! So, sorry Star Magazine for ruining your exclusive! It’s totally my publicist’s fault haha.”