Before LeAnn Rimes goes to bed at night, she pops the cum bubble from her husband’s ass, then she goes into her garage, lights the candles around her Eddie Cibrian altar and sings a haunting acoustic version of “How Do I Live Without You? (Your Wife Must Die)” while sticking hot razors into a Brandi Glanville voodoo doll. That’s what Eddie Cibrian’s wife, Brandi Glanville, is saying. Basically. Brandi told UsWeekly that LeAnn Rimes is obsessed with her husband. I didn’t see LeAnn Rimes disguised as a pile horse doody just to get close to the object of her erection, so Brandi needs to re-evaluate her use of the term “obsessed.” Moving on….
A couple of months ago, there were rumors going around that LeAnn and Eddie were doing it on the down low. They denied it, but now Brandi is saying that LeAnn is stalking her man. If you see a car with an “Attention: Can I Get Some?” bumper sticker, that’s Brandi. Wave hello and shout out the lyrics to “Can’t Fight the Moonlight.”
Brandi tells Us, “LeAnn is a stalker. She refuses to leave us alone — it is shameful and scary. People are going to say it takes two to tango and I get that, but at some point LeAnn needs to stop asking him to dance.” And by “dance,” Brandi means FUCK TILL THE BREAK OF DAWN.
Carry on Brandi… “I’m a happy wife fighting for what I have. LeAnn is so desperate for fame she has left her self-respect in the gutter and doesn’t care who she hurts to get what she wants. She’s hurting my family and messing with the wrong mom.”
LeAnn’s spokeswhore did not comment, but a friend of hers snapped his fingers and got all sassy with his response, “Eddie and Brandi are both on the record on this and LeAnn has kept quiet, so what does that tell you about who is after fame and press?”
What I’m hearing is that Eddie did light up LeAnn’s vagina at least one time and she just can’t let go of the peen. Instead of putting on her money-handling gloves and taking as much coin from Eddie as she can, Brandi’s off blabbing to a tabloid. Yeah, Eddie might not have much bacon in the bank, but that’s not the point. Brandi is fighting the wrong battle. She should be working on taking the cash and cashing the check!