We’re All Whores, Darlin’

June 1, 2009 / Posted by:

One of my favorite quotes of all-time comes from the philosopher and professor of whores Cristal Connors. It is: “You are a whore, darlin. We all are. We take the cash, we cash the check, we show ‘em what they wanna see.” In an interview with GQ (via Showbiz Spy), Megan Fox tried to make this point, but FAILED. Megan just doesn’t possess the natural wisdom of Cristal Connors.

Megan said, “When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes. We get paid to feign attraction and love. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who’s not their partner. It’s really kind of gross.

I have this sort of promiscuous image. People assume I’m really overtly sexually aggressive and that I’m this wild child. And I’m not like that at all. I would rather have an image that is wild and promiscuous than to go out of my way to be proper all the time. There are some guys who think I’m going to be this little cupcake who’s going to bat my eyes and be like a receptacle for them. I shut them down immediately.”

Megan is waxing philosophical when she really should be waxing penis instead. Thinking is not for everyone, Megan! You know when you put an extra large load of laundry in the dryer and it can’t handle it, so it starts violently shaking during the spin cycle? That’s what Megan’s brain does when she tries to think too hard. Megan, keep the load light, hon.

Speaking of loads, here’s Megan at the MTV Movie Awards yesterday with after-bukkake hair.

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