Saint Angie was over on Long Island doing a stunt for that condiment movie when she busted her head and started bleeding between her eyes. STIGMATA!!!!
TMZ says that God traveled down from heaven in an ambulance carried by the angels and healed St. Angie with just a touch. Before he flew away, they had a quick chat about the twin messiahs entering (SPOILER ALERT: and winning) the Scripps Speeling Bee next year.
The movie’s production company released this statement: “This morning while filming an action sequence… Angelina Jolie sustained a minor injury. As a precautionary measure, Ms. Jolie will be taken to the hospital and examined. Production on the film has resumed.”
Basically, the Patron Saint of Everything is going to be fine. Shucks. You’ll get her next time, Aniston.