Is This The Mother Of Keanu Reeves’ Children?

May 29, 2009 / Posted by:

Well, the adorable baby friend in the corner does have Keanu Reeves’ mange and overcast eyes, so it’s possibly possible!

This is 46-year-old Karen Sala of Barrie, Ontario in Canada. Karen swears on her collection of crack pipes that Keanu Reeves is the father of her four adult children. Karen is asking the courts to force Keanu to submit a sample of his dick butter, so the truth can finally be revealed.

Krazy Karen claims she has known Keanu since she was 9 and he was 7. According to Krazy, she and Keanu busted nuts for years. Krazy and Keanu were even doing sessy times right before she got married to another dude. Krazy admits that she’s a huge ho fo sho, so she’s not exactly sure which one of her kids is related to Keanu. But she thinks one of her sons kind of looks like Keanu…… if you down a bottle of MD and do the Reeves squint (just imagine him trying to figure out what 17 minus 9 is) before looking at him.

Krazy also adds that when her kids were little, Keanu and his family would buy them gifts.

This is the best part of this whole thing. Krazy’s kids are aged 20 to 25 and she’s never been married to Keanu, but she still wants child AND spousal support! Krazy is asking for $150,000 per month, retroactive to June 1988, as well as $3 million per month in spousal support retroactive to November 2006. Why do I suspect that this whole plan was born during a 12-hour binge under a bridge somewhere after Krazy watched Johnny Mnemonic in the kitchen of her dealer’s house.

Keanu’s spokeswhore laughed until her pussy fell off and then released this statement: “Karen Sala’s allegations are completely false and absurd. Mr. Reeves has no knowledge of who she is. Before you disparage my client and lend validity to this, there’s clearly something wrong with someone who claims child support after all the kids have grown. I’m just pointing that out.

SPOILER ALERT: Maury says….Keanu is not the father, but an 8-ball is. Okay, I need to stop! Is that the face of a woman who would tell a lie? Okay, it is, but you can’t hate on Krazy for trying! The price of cigarettes has gone up!

Source: The Star (Thanks Jennifer)

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