Chris Brown Sued!

Chris Brown received a special gift today in the form a lawsuit filed by some dude named Robert Rosen. Robert claims Chris Brown’s bodyguards beat him something good at an L.A. Fitness last March.

Radar says that on March 13th, Chris and his friends were playing basketball when Robert decided he wanted to get a few pictures of him. Chris’ bodyguards immediately stepped in and told him to flutter away. But when Robert tried to leave, he says an L.A. Fitness employee blocked him and started to manhandle him. This led to Robert falling down stars (HA: Why is picturing people fall down stairs so fucking funny?). Instead of giving him a helping hand, Chris Brown’s bodyguards whooped his ass. Chris trained them well.

Robert is suing both Chris and L.A. Fitness for assault, battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligence, premises liability and false imprisonment. Robert is asking for Chris to sing him an acoustic version of “I’m Sowwy,” followed by a kiss on the cheek and a basket full of fluffy bunnies. Of course not. Robert wants money money money money money money MONEY!!!!!!

It doesn’t seem like Chris himself ever brought down his fist on Robert’s face or body, but he’s the one being sued. Maybe Chris ordered his bodyguards to pelt that bitch? Or maybe Robert is just taking advantage of the whole Ike & Tina ’09 situation and thinks he can make quick a dollar. It’s the American way! Hey, it’s either get a job at Arby’s to pay the bills or sue a bitch.