Danielle Lloyd, who is sort-of famous in Britain for peddling her titty balls in magazines and for being a racist cunt on Celebrity Big Brother, landed in the hospital last night after two bitches at a club threw her ass onto a glass table. Evil lives in my heart so I am allowed to laugh.
Danielle is no stranger to drunken bar fights, so this sounds like a regular day at the office for her. The Sun says that Danielle and her boyfriend, footballer Jamie O’Hara, were at some club at 2am when she got into a serious cunt battle royale with 2 girls. A witness says that while one of the girls was dancing, she accidentally kicked Danielle. Words were exchanged, punches were thrown, hairs were pulled and it all ended with Danielle lying in a rubble of broken glass. Some witnesses say the two bitches worked together as a team and hurled Danielle through the air. But other say that Danielle fell backwards onto the table. Why am I picturing a crowd of drunks cheering in slow motion?
Danielle stumbled into the street and screamed about the owie on her leg before an ambulance arrived to take her to the hospital. Danielle’s spokeswhore said she suffered major cuts to her leg and back. Danielle needed emergency plastic surgery. Yeah, Danielle decided to get bigger chichis to distract from the huge cut on her leg. While they had her on the table, they should’ve sewn her mouth shut too.
Scotland Yard said they will investigate the incident as soon as they start giving a fuck.
And Danielle is a real pro! Homegirl still manages to smile for the cameras even though she’s bleeding to death on the sidewalk. A famewhore’s work is never done!