This Is Going To Be A Fantastic Disaster

Cher just might tear herself away from her custom-made oxygen crypt long enough to shoot scenes in Xtina’s debut movie Burlesque (I want to see jazz hands in the air when you read that title).

It was already announced that Xtina would star in the movie musical as a small-town girl who dreams of being a singer but finds herself thrusting her crotch at a burlesque club. The working title should be, Showgirls: The Whores Are Alive With The Sound Of Music!

Entertainment Weekly says that Cher is in final talks play the owner of the club. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! !!! !!!! Seriously, the camp level of this movie will hit the heavens if Cher is in it. I mean, Cher and Xtina wearing sparkly nipple tassles while singing and shaking their chichis?! All this ridiculousness needs is a random scene where Joan Collins storms into the club and slaps Cher for no reason. That would make this soon-to-be cinematic wreck the glittery cherry on top of my life sundae. Is it really too early to order my tickets on Fandango?

And if you live in the Los Angeles area, you better stock up on all your cosmetics right now. This movie is going to empty out every single make-up counter in the city.