There’s a lot of reasons to love Marie Osmond. She’s crazy. She loves wigs. She makes tranny dolls. And she sang the masterpiece Paper Roses. Well, here’s a new reason to love her. Marie loves her pussy-eatin’, strap-on wearin’, power tool-carrying gayelle daughter! Marie’s daughter, Jessica, is a lesbian and Marie is absolutely fine with that. She told Entertainment Weekly (via OK!) that her being a Mormon doesn’t automatically mean that she thinks the souls of all gays and gayelles should burn in the fiery pits of hell.
Marie said, “I love my daughter! She’s my baby girl, come on. So what if she’s gay? She’s my daughter and she’s an amazing woman and a good kid. I raised her, she better be good. I think it’s sad when we have to separate something from society. Whether it’s, ‘Oh you’re Jewish,’ and then it was ‘Oh you’re a Mormon,’ or ‘Oh you’re gay.’ I love real people. A lot of women out there have gay children. Who cares? I want love. I’m a Christian and Christ loved everybody.”
And I love you, Marie! But really, I’d be sad in the heart if this bitch didn’t accept gays. I mean, Marie has to be the gayest thing on this planet! Her brother is Donny Osmond for peen’s sake!
Put Marie next to a unicorn. The unicorn immediately looks like the damn Marlboro Man. Put Marie next to Glamberace. Glamberace immediately looks like Chuck Norris! Put Marie next to me. Well, okay, that’s a draw.
But seriously, now if only Marie can get some other hos to feel that way. If anybody can do it, Marie can (with help from her hypnotic dolls, of course). Viva Marie!