This has got me confused. TMZ says that Lauri Waring, the puppet-faced filly from The Really Plastic Housewives of Orange County, has filed papers asking her ex-husband for more money. According to the papers, Lauri claims she only makes $400 a month. That’s not even enough to cover her weekly liquid nails (botox and Wesson is so five years ago) bill!
In the papers, Lauri states that she has over $12,000 in monthly expenses and that her ex-husband, Phil Waring, can afford to pay her more in support, because he makes around $360,000 a year. Lauri also said that she’s working as an insurance agent and an “actress” (laugh until you fart) to make ends meet.
Okay… Um. Isn’t Lauri still married to George, the wealthiest man in Cota or Laguna or wherever the hell they live? Didn’t George buy Lauri’s ass a Mercedes and some gaudy ass joo-rees (copyright: DeShawn Snow)? Didn’t George take Lauri to Dubai so that she could piss on diamonds and feast on liquid gold? How is she still getting money from her ex-husband if she re-married? Yes, everything I needed to learn about alimony I learned from Desperate Housewives.
OH! I think I know why Lauri’s asking for money. It’s because she’s a greedy crash-grubbing whore who doesn’t care how much money she has now, she still wants MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE! Hmmm. I can respect that. Carry on!