Wino Is Still Doing Her Thing In St. Lucia

May 20, 2009 / Posted by:

And by “her thing,” I mean filling her bony ass body with so much of the sweet nectar that she ends up collapsing on the floor. Party buzz killer! Yeah, our little Drunky of the Caribbean has done it again. The Sun says that last Friday, Wino was in her villa swallowing booze by the gallons when she got sick and had to be rushed to the hospital. The nurses at the hospital probably gave a “This drunk bitch again” face when she was wheeled in. They just jump-started her liver and said, “See you next week!

A source said that Wino was only in the hospital for a few hours and was discharged that same night. This was the third time in three months. Friends think that Wino’s mega boozing might keep her from performing in the UK in a couple of weeks. Wino is scheduled to play London’s Shepherd’s Bush Empire on May 31st, but it’s looking highly unlikely. A friend said, “Amy’s gig might as well be canceled now. She’s not going to make it. It’s not worth her while even if she does make it, it will be a shambles. She is not ready for it and she proved it at the festival.”

Yeah, I think the UK has already closed their borders to anybody with the name Amy Winehouse who smells like roach poop, banana skins and bar slime. So her big comeback isn’t going to happen.

But what I want to know is, how is St. Lucia not completely dry yet? Do gigantic ships filled with thousands of crates of booze arrived every hour just for Wino?! Are bars just serving her sea water with a drop of ether in it? I don’t understand. And Wino could’ve saved herself a few million coins if she checked into Sandals instead. That shit is all-inclusive. Sandals would’ve went bankrupt within a couple of days, though. Weeeeeee!

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