Somebody Put A Leash On Ann!

May 20, 2009 / Posted by:

Ann Curry Powder is always interviewing Brad Pitt on Today. Probably because he loves it when she gets all gushy around him….to a point. Seriously, bitch acts like me around a Sno-Ball. Whenever Ann is getting ready to talk to Brad, she probably doesn’t drink water for 24-hours beforehand and wears 4 pairs of Depends, because she knows he makes her squirt like an overexcited chihuahua.

During this morning’s interview from Cannes, where Brad is promoting Inglorious Basterds, Ann started to talk about his personal life, but he quickly changed the subject. This prompted Ann to caress his cheek and giggle like Tommy Girl getting his Scientolohole tickled. You know Ann immediately her had hand freeze-dried!

At the end of the interview, Ann continues to cream herself when saying how millions of women are jealous of her because she gets to be so close to BRAD PITT!!!! (can I have an eye-roll with that?). When asked how he feels about that, Brad responds, “Really. Thank you. Really. Let’s move on.” Don’t worry, Brangaloonies. He wasn’t telling you to move on. He was telling Ann to move on. Specifically, he wanted her to move off that balcony and jump into the sea to cool her heated loins. Give her a q-tip!

All the face-touching weirdness is at the 5:15 mark in the video below. The rest of the interview is boooooooooring, so don’t bothah! Below that are some pictures of Brad eating a plastic cup. And what in the hell is he wearing? Cary Grant, he is not.

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