GOOPS vs. BOOBS

May 19, 2009 / Posted by:

Fishsticks Paltrow and Mrs. Ryan Reynolds are reportedly throwing each other deathly side-eyes left and right on the set of Iron Man 2. That’s what The Sun claims anyway. According to them, Fishy is slapping herself in the nipples out of frustration, because ScarJo is getting all the attention from the crew on set. Um. Minor correction. ScarJo isn’t getting all the attention, her 8th World Wonder chichis are. Moving on…

Some source says that Fishy just doesn’t understand ScarJo’s style. Fishy also has her guppy lips in a twist, because ScarJo gets to walk around in ho outfits while she has to wear boring ass suits. The source went on to say, “They come from different worlds and have completely different styles. Gwyneth has found Scarlett very demanding of the attention of the crew. It’s not a happy set. Gwyneth was looking forward to working with Emily Blunt, who was originally in line for the part, but it ended up being Scarlett. Gwyneth’s had to live with that and she has been very professional, but she and Scarlett haven’t developed a friendship on the shoot, which is almost at the half way point. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”

Poor little Poopy’s jealous of ScarJo’s magnificent breasteses! It’s okay, Fishy. Don’t be jealous of the rocks that she’s got. Your husband is a bigger TIT than both of ScarJo’s massive tittay balls combined.

You know, why is Fishy always such a cunt?! Why?! I’m going to blame all that birdseed and organic grass she eats! If ho ate a Rocky Road bar every now and again, she probably wouldn’t be such a miserable bitch!

However, that doesn’t mean I’m Team ScarJo. Nope. I’m Team RDJ Show Us That Dick Already!

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