I think I got jizz poisoning last night, because I’ve had the barfs all morning in the grossest way. You know what’s extra disgusting? Whenever I’ve got the purgies, my dog comes around the bathroom, sniffing at me like the buffet is open for business. Why are dogs so shamelessly gross?! That is not right.
Anyway, even though I’m feeling vommy, I’d still devour an entire tub of this Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies ice cream from 1987. I didn’t even know this deliciousness existed?! It’s like the cream from an angel’s vagina. Do you think I can buy some on eBay? Don’t even tell me I should just crush down some cookies in vanilla ice cream, because that’s way too much work.
And just ignore Matt LeBlanc’s presence.