This is Joe Jonas. This is Joe Jonas wet. This is Joe Jonas flashing his pit pubes. This is Joe Jonas making sexyface, but it kind of looks like he’s trying to pass a queef through his peen hole. Ick. Nast. I just said “Joe Jonas” and “peen” in the same sentence. Okay, I know he’s 19 which makes him legal, but why do I still feel like I’m committing a felony by looking at this picture! Why do I feel like I just ended up on some government list. Don’t even ask me if I’d “hit it.” If I answered that question truthfully, the FBI will storm through my front door and confiscate this laptop.
And what about his celebrity crush?! I’m kind of impressed. I figured Joe Jonas was more of a Brad Pitt fangirl. But now I’ve got an image of Joe Jonas and Daniel Craig tossing salads and licking beef bones. Dammit.
P.S. – Is it just me or does his purity ring look abnormally erect?