Everybody Wants This

May 14, 2009 / Posted by:

The mystery surrounding Kate Gosselin’s hair has been revealed. Sort of. No, it wasn’t revealed on the season finale of Lost last night (although, I think it made a cameo). Kate told Entertainment Weekly all about it.

When asked about sophisticated reverse-mullet, Kate said, “It’s my attitude! Everybody wants it. It’s work. I have very, very thick hair, so it’s not going to work for everybody. I’ve seen people come through the book line with thin hair and it’s just won’t work. My hair stylist gets calls from all across the country.

Um. Little does Kate know that they are actually calling and begging for her hair stylist to chop off his (or her?) own fingers, so this fuggetry can end! Actually, that wouldn’t really stop Kate, because her hair stylist could still cut her hair with his feet and it would end up looking the same. And who is this “everybody” Kate is talking about? If by “everybody” she means every piece of roadkill, then I stand corrected!

And if you want Kate’s hair, it’s not hard to get! Just pour pig’s blood over your head, wander out into the middle of the forest and wait. It won’t take long before a pack of wild coyotes start attacking your head. After a few minutes, fight them off and you’ll walk out of the forest looking just like a Gosselin!

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