News You Already Know: Shanna Moakler Quits That Bitch

May 13, 2009 / Posted by:

Brought to you by popular demand! Shanna Moakler is no longer Miss California’s main pimp! Shanna freed herself from Donald Trump’s chains this afternoon. I bet she’s regretting that decision after she found out Craigslist got rid of their “Erotic Services” category. DAMN! Well, fuckit. Shanna doesn’t need those gutter hos. This is the statement she released to UsWeekly:

“Since the press conference yesterday, I had a chance to think about what has taken place, and I feel that at this time it is in my best interest to resign from the Miss California USA organization.

I cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth. I want to be a role model for young women with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams.”

You know the world is a strange place when Shanna Moakler sounds like the voice of reason.

I hope this is finally it! I am so sick of seeing Donald Trump’s smug face and Miss Tits4Jesus on my TV screen. Can’t the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!

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