The School Of Lohan

May 8, 2009 / Posted by:

Alleged 15-year-old (wink to Mah Boo) Ali Lohan has been whoring herself all over the place with her big sister and some were asking a very valid question: “Why isn’t this old baby face marinating in a classroom?” That’s because she’s enrolled in The Lohan School of Hard Cocks, I mean, Knocks.

White Oprah told the New York Daily News that it’s impossible for Ali to be in school full-time, because she’s in HObusiness. White Oprah wiped her nose, cleaned her teefs and said, “She is home schooled. I’m a firm believer in staying in school but, in the business, it’s gotten difficult for Ali to be in school.”

You know, Ali Lohan would probably be better off being raised by a pack of day-shift hookers (actually, she kind of is, right?), but imagine if you were 15 again and your mom let you be homeschooled. You could sleep until your hangover wore off, watch stories all day, eat junk crap by the gallons, work on your tan and then do like 10-seconds of school work. It would be kind of awesome. Ho stuff 24/7.

However, in a couple of years, Ali is going to be wishing she sat in a math class or two when somebody tells her the dealer gave her 2 grams instead of 5. The more you know (shooting star).

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