Step Away From The Barton

I realize David Walliams is a mega manskank who sniffs at any coochie that wiggles, but Mischa Barton?! Mischa Barton?! Bitch looks like she would give a rat a handjob if it was carrying some of the bad shit. What’s even more embarrassing is that David apparently got SHUT DOWN by Mischa. The Mirror says that at a party in London the other night, David was wagging his tail at Mischa, but she was not falling for the bait. A source-type said, “David was surrounded by women and chatted up six of them. Mischa was one of his earliest targets but he didn’t get very far. She kept staring at her phone, almost willing it to ring so she could escape. In the end she had to tell him she had a boyfriend. David took it in good spirits and escorted her from the party.”

Getting turned down by Mischa “I fuck for roles” Barton has to be the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to David Walliams. This is a sign! A sign that he needs to stick his wang in a bowl of ice and then put it in the corner indefinitely. It is not doing him right!