Braniston 2.0

May 7, 2009 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston’s ovaries are still hongray for baby batter (sorry, I hate that term too), so she went out to get herself some! The Susan Boyle of the Americas hit up a party for her movie Management at Table 8 in NYC on Tuesday night. Jennifer put her nose to work to try to sniff out the dude with the highest sperm count (she took a class at the Learning Annex to learn that skill) and it led her to Bradley Cooper.

Bradley and Jenny were both in He’s Just Not That Into You. I don’t know if they had any scenes together, though. I didn’t see that wet piece of crap. Anyway, Page Six says that at the party, Jen was getting on Bradley like she was ready to conceive right then and there! A witness said, “Bradley and Jennifer were definitely into each other. She kept touching his chest and whispering in his ear.

Bradley and Jennifer left the party 10 minutes apart.

Yes, his name is Bradley, but doesn’t mean ANYTHING. Yes, Jen probably made him say “Angelina Jolie is a fugly fat cunt with caca brains and a rotten coochie” before she let him touch her breasts, but that has nothing to do with anything. She likes Bradley for Bradley and not because his name is Bradley. It’s also a good thing she might be hooking up with a Brad, because then she won’t have to make that many changes to her “JEN & BRAD 4EVAHs” shrine. Less work!

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