Not since the great Popeye’s uprising of two weeks ago, has there been a revolt this big over delicious chicken! As some of you may know, The Mighty Oprah handed down coupons for a free grilled chicken meal for today alone to absolutely fucking everyone! It has created CHAOS! I think a few dozen people already threw themselves out of office windows, because they couldn’t get the stupid thing to print. And some whores that did manage to print out a coupon are getting SHUT DOWN when they go to their local KFC to get their chicken!
Gothamist reports that at a KFC on 42nd and Madison in NYC, bitches have staged a sit-in after they were told Oprah’s free lunch was no longer valid. One person who was there wrote in, “I went over to our nearest KFC a few minutes ago…and chaos ensued. Despite the very visible grilled chicken behind the register, the manager told everyone with coupons to leave and that the promotion was over for the day. The people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken…or the cops are called. Racial epithets were being spewed, people who actually wanted to pay for chicken were facing a potential beatdown, and the manager ran from the screaming horde. Oprah, what have ye wrought?”
PETA is in their offices right now, laying back and jacking off to this. They are loving it. But seriously, over GRILLED chicken?! I could see if it was fried chicken, but grilled?! What in the eff am I supposed to do with grilled chicken? Stare at it?! Bitches are nuts. They should just go chew on a tire instead, because it probably tastes the same.
You know who else is jacking it to this? OPRAH herself! It’s the power of the O at work! Gayle is going to get it good tonight, because this has put O in the best mood ever.