Brooke Better Watch It

May 6, 2009 / Posted by:

The answer to yesterday’s question, “Why in Vanessa Lutz Hell would anybody fight over Brooke Shields?”, has been answered. Sort of. Kind of. Okay, not really. Anyway, two nights ago in NYC, Kiefer Sutherland headbutted Jack McCullough of Proenza Schouler over Brooke Shields. TMZ says it was because Jack bumped into Brooke and didn’t apologize.

Police say when Jack knocked Brooke over, Quiefer jumped to her rescue, because that’s how he do. He demanded that Jack apologize to Brooke. The two had a few words which escalated into Jack pushing Queefy. Queef responded the only way he knows how, he headbutted that trick. Jack was rushed off to the hospital to get his purdy nose fixed and a police report was taken. This might be a problem for Kiefer since he’s on probation in Los Angeles for a DUI.

But wait! The plot thins! Kiefer’s damsel in distress, Brooke Shields, has no idea what he’s blabbering about. Brooke says Jack did nothing to her and she has no idea why Kiefer gave it to him Jack Bauer-style. Her spokeswhore said, “Jack did nothing inappropriate. It’s not clear what caused Kiefer to do what he did.”

That’s ice ice cold. Brooke and Kiefer made beautiful magic together (the masterpiece that is Freeway) and she acts like she doesn’t even know who he is?! Brooke better wear a helmet at all times, because Kiefer is watching and waiting. His forehead has her head’s name written all over it. He’s ready to headbutt that bitch at any time for doing him wrong like this.

And since Brooke denies any involvement in this, I’m sticking to my Christmas tree theory.

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