Forever Your Pillhead

April 30, 2009 / Posted by:

Being Paula Abdul’s friend would be like the best thing ever! Not only do you get Xanax in your Cheerios when you have breakfast at her house, but she’d be so much fun to play pranks on. If you told her that she is the real Craigslist killer, she’d immediately turn herself in, because she’d totally believe you. If you told her she could grow a pill tree by planting an Adderall doll in the ground, she’d spend the whole night in her backyard with a shovel and some Miracle-Gro.

Because Paula has the common sense of a boiled avocado seed, she is the perfect person for Sacha Baron Cohen to fool!

Page Six says that for his movie, SBC interviewed Paula as Bruno. Paula had no idea she was being tricked. A source said, “Paula was totally fooled. She bought into his character and to this day isn’t aware she was fooled.”

To this day, I don’t think she’s aware that Skat Kat isn’t real. NOBODY TELL HER. It would break her little lude-filled heart. It would be like her epic Bratz meltdown all over again! “Where’s God when you need him?” Oh, Paula, he’s sitting in that little Vicodin bottle waiting for you!

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