Fix Yourself, Girl!

April 30, 2009 / Posted by:

When you strut down the ho stroll in your sexiest spandex biker shorts, do the other whores yell at you, “Bitch, your pussy is hongray“? Does this make you feel sad in the pants, because you don’t want everyone to see your damn uterus from the outside? Well, then the Cuchini is just the product to fix your COCHINA ass.

That shit will set you back $15 for two pads. Once you have your Cuchini pads, just place it over your hungry-hungry-hippo-cooze and voila! No camel toe. You will go from looking like a biological female with organic vagina lips to looking like you’ve got an 8″ dick tucked into your ass crack. Fatty crotch to tranny crotch in a matter of seconds!

The website is like the land of fuckery! It has a video featuring a song that will be the first dance at my wedding. It also has a celebrity c-toe gallery. Strangely enough, the celebrity gallery doesn’t star the CAMEL TOE QUEEN herself….CoCo! That’s because even the Cuchini knows it is no match for the camel toe of all camel toes! I’d like to see the Cuchini try to cover up CoCo’s mammoth vag flappers of wonder. It’s not going to happen! If you placed one of those weak ass Cuchini pads on her snatch, it would eat it up in two bites, burp and then scream, “NEXT!

I mean, behold CoCo’s camel toe. It is not the one.

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