Mel Gibson Debuts His Russian Ho

April 29, 2009 / Posted by:

Just like the Catholic Church, Mel Gibson has nothing to hide, so he swung his doors wide open and brought out his new Russian piece to a screening of Wolverine last night Los Angeles. It’s been a little over two weeks since Mel’s wife filed to legally quit his insane ass. The documents claim they have been split up for over two years.

53-year-old (yeah, that’s all) Mel and his 39-year-old girlfriend, Russian composer and Timothy Daltona’s baby mama Oksana Grigorieva, have been hiding out in Costa Rica where they’ve spent their time on their knees praying, of course. The two met after Oksana was signed to Mel’s music label Sugar Tits Records.

Last night was their first public appearance together. You know, they just wanted to be like every couple and go see a movie together. They had no idea hundreds of photographers would be there to capture this special moment which would be published all over the world. I’m sure smug ass Mel is grinning at the thought of his ole’ wifey opening up the newspaper and seeing this silver bullet to the heart.

Mel’s rep told People, “Mel has been single for almost three years and it’s nice to see him getting out and enjoying himself.” By the looks of him, Mel hasn’t enjoyed himself since the late 80s. Can I get a B-E-A-T?

Seriously, I thought doing sexy times with a younger bitch was supposed to make you look all fresh and shit? Because Mel’s got the olds in a bad way all over his mug. He needs a holy water and communion wafer facial.

As for Oksana, she kind of looks like a hybrid of OctoMommy and Sophia Lamar, a famous NYC tranny. And how can she go from Timothy Dalton to that?! We know she’s riding on Mel’s crucifix for the coin, but does she realize that his wife is going to run off with half of his fortune? Bitch better hope she is the second coming of OctoMommy and pops out a litter of money babies. Because fucking on that haggard goat and not having anything to show for it afterwards is a sin!

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