Twin Foals!

April 28, 2009 / Posted by: Michael K

You know how there were rumors that Matthew Broderick was stepping out on SJP and they were going to quit their marriage? Well, everything’s just wonderful now, because they are having twin ~~BAND-AIDS~~ BABIES!!!! Don’t worry, SJP’s sexy filly body isn’t going to get all fat, because they are using a surrogate.

A rep for Matthew, 47, and SJP, 44, confirmed the news to E! and said they are having two daughters. The two already have a 6-year-old son named James Wilkie.

They had to hire a professional baby oven. They had no choice. I’m sure SJP tried to do sexy times with Matthew, but every time he sees a live vagina, he gets all giggly and then breaks into the title number from “Hello Dolly!” complete with jazz hands galore. He does that whenever he gets nervous. Then SJP neighs to herself and gallops off all frustrated-like. So, this was the only way.

Tags: BABIES!!!, Duggars, Sarah Jessica Parker

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com